Ocean Dweller: Things I have learned about Federal Women's Prison, by watching Orange Is the New Black.
- Do not insult the chefs food
- When you do, expect bloody tampons as a sandwich the next day
- She WILL try to starve you out, but make a lotion for her aching back made of hot peppers and cocoa butter
- Make friends with the hot lesbians
- Beware the homophobic counselor, who is obsessed with…